I don’t particularly care how much effort and money you have poured into a project; it doesn’t mean anything if the food isn’t good. I am going to be frank; this was one of the most disappointing experiences in London for us. We were waiting for the dishes to really pull themselves together but on this occasion it didn’t happen. As I opened the menu there was a short section outlining the ‘goals’ for the restaurant a short quote from chef Larry, and a brief mention of the produce. All seems fine but I always think as a chef, why the need to write? Less talking and more doing… You don’t need to tell us anything, what you are showing speaks volumes already. Just the menu will do fine.
The snacks were acceptable, we enjoyed them with a glass of champagne. (Didn’t really have any other choice), because unfortunately there was no whiskey, no gin, no liquor due to no license which started the night off on a wrong footing. Going straight to the wine then! My guest was slightly annoyed having been sent a wine list beforehand to find that the list he was given was different and the bottle he wanted was more expensive than previously quoted. Don’t do this, it’s incredibly sneaky. We know wine and whether the price is justified, we know the game… So, because of that, no bottle was bought, congratulations.
We chose our food; my guest wanted an extra starter rather than dessert and the waiter wasn’t sure if it was possible like it was a crime to humanity. She went to check, and we had to be charged extra. Who in the right mind does this with a set a la carte menu? Stingy indeed. My first course-Spiced Brixham crab, seaweed crepe, avocado, toasted almond. Crab shell when it hits your teeth is not pleasant, especially when you have spent 5 hours in a dentist chair last week getting your teeth done. Having shell in your dish is a big no no. A culinary error and not enough thorough checking within the crab meat. Along with a cold crepe, cold crab, I wasn’t excited at all by this dish.
Tanera Island hand-dived XXL scallop, Alsace bacon, kombu, roast chicken jus: The scallop was a beautiful product, super size, but the bacon had been cooked to the point that it was too hard and unpleasant, it was inedible. Another cracking of the teeth moment. Completely spoiling this dish.
Tanera island barbecued native lobster, crème fraîche, wild cardamom, red wine jus. Really? This is a red wine jus? The sauce had been reduced far too much and it was taking on bitter notes, far too strong to stand with the lobster. The lobster had left the building…
The bread- Caramelised onion brioche- I am noticing at this point a trend of imbalance. There is far too much of one flavour note being pushed out. When you are creating dishes, you must find balance or risk sabotaging the whole dish. A few bites in of this bread, I found it to be good but yes over time it became overly sweet on the palate. Onion when it is caramelised is naturally sweet anyway. The brioche also taking on sweet notes, sweet on top of sweet… Then the different butters on the side… Not a lot of high-end restaurants are playing too much with strong flavourings inside of their bread. And all for good reason. Better to keep it simple.
The lamb- One of the better dishes but encasing a small layer of onion with some peas inside is thinking it is gastronomy but is in fact Mayfair ‘fine dining’ Two words I love to hate. The lamb product itself was fine, the lamb shoulder on the side would have been excellent melting and tender, it was pink, slightly tough, and unremarkable.
Now for the worst offender, the beef which was really missing the point. There was no caramelisation on the side of it, no sear, just a dull grey horrible looking colour which gave me the shivers. There was no flavour to the meat, and it was chewy. Nothing more to say is there?
Strawberry Tart- Nothing new here and boring. A usual suspect tart executed ok but nothing to shout home about. I didn’t finish it. Compote, diplomate, sorbet, fresh strawberries. Even as a classic combination that I love, I found this to be giving me culinary school vibes. Dated but not in a positive way. The tiny dots piped onto the plate were also bringing not a lot because you couldn’t eat them, you couldn’t even see them… What’s the point?
Tahiti Vanilla- I do not have the recipe in front of me obviously, but this did not taste of Tahitian vanilla. It had a strong underlying note of something else. The ice-cream was not a glorious yellow with the seeds popping out, it wasn’t creamy, sweet yet fresh, there was a note in here which cheapened the taste. You really couldn’t taste the pure Tahiti vanilla, honestly you couldn’t.
We must give praise to the staff as they tried their best to improve the situation. They apologised that the food was not delivering. The sommelier also offered us two sweet wines on the house, and we were offered an extra dessert. Even if you cannot change the food, this gesture did improve things in some way. They were trying and this means a lot.
I know that what I have wrote appears to be quite harsh, but it is an honest account of my night here. A night that was ruined quite early on and when this happens you don’t tend to be in a good mood. The wine list situation irritated us, it’s the smallest details that count, and these are the things that can change the night dramatically. There are no reasons to return to The Cocochine and for the price I could have put that money elsewhere and left a lot happier.
